carter speaks

It isn't often that I feel completely helpless.

It was late, and I was out on the beach, surfing in my own private ocean. The water smells different at night; I know it's an illusion, but it sticks with me. Sometimes, when I'm lying in bed, I take a deep breath and can almost smell it, even from home. The ocean speaks to us, not in any language meant to be understood, but it speaks nonetheless.

Tonight, it was angry, and violent. Good for my kind of surfing, but it made me wonder what was wrong in the world, that the water could slash against my skin, along the board, through the air, and into the sky in such a manner.

When I went home, I found Karina lying on my bed. Not so much lying, because that implies sleep, and peace. She was wearing one of my old shirts; it looked like she'd taken a shower and then thrown on the first thing she found.

Time after time her fists slammed into the mattress, almost hard enough to split the seams and have feathers spewing everywhere. I touched her shoulder, and she jerked in response.

Karina sprang off the bed, and I thought she was going to throw herself at me, but she didn't. Instead, she started fighting me. Her temper is like this; when it gets hot enough, she needs to lash out at something. Since I am not your average Parker, I can withstand quite a bit of her pummeling, so I let her do her worst until she got it all out of her system.

By the time her fists were almost raw, she let me pick her up, and carry her to the bed. I wrapped my arms around her while she cried, and waited.

The story she told me was enough to make me wonder about humans, and my need suddenly to be around them. Why did I bother worrying over my own demons, when there were things much worse, among their own kind?

One of her friends had been attacked. There are people in the world that you might say "oh, so and so is so sweet, so nice, such fun to be around." But you don't really mean it; not entirely. This woman, this friend of Karina's, really WAS such a person. I knew instantly who Karina meant, because the little bit of a thing had made an impression on even me. She'd made me laugh, and smile, and feel at home and at ease in her little store. Rare, for someone who stayed hidden from the world for hundreds of years.

Karina's little friend had been attacked. It's one of those ugly, horrible truths about life that you don't believe until it happens to someone you know. I believe the worst in life as a rule, but Karina.... she hasn't seen the worst of it, yet.

The young woman, barely old enough to have completed college, had been in her own home. Full of life and cats and fun. And some ugly, hideous, disgusting monster broke into her little apartment, and attacked her.

People think I am a monster, but humans are a thousand times worse.

Of course, Karina's friend was out of the hospital the following day, and two days later, she was ready to get back to work and move on with life. Karina looked up at me with growing horror, as she began to realize the full effect of the event, for her friend.

How could you ever feel safe alone, at home, after something like that? How could you stand to let someone touch you, get near you? Issues that many have had to overcome. Nothing that hasn't happened before.

But how many times have you stopped to wonder, could it happen to you?

I write this because I advise you to look at your life, and be safe. There will be no more days where Karina takes out the trash, at night, alone, or walks to her car in a dark parking lot without her phone. She'll look a little more closely to be sure she's locked up the house, and the windows tightly.

And you can bet I'll be watching, and waiting.

That's all from me. There's a Great White somewhere in the area, and I intend to find it.