what the hell are you waiting for~ i came i saw i conquered

Life is fucking insane, babe. I've been looking for Kiel Delvarian's gay ass for about six goddamn years now. Jesus Christ I almost went to Colorado three times, then something came along, got me sidetracked, and I thought, no way. Key, he always talked about going where it's warmer. What the fuck would he be doing in frosty the fucking snowman land.

Fucking some goddamn were whatever, apparently. Could have knocked me out with one of those goddamn oranges Sky's kid is always throwing around, when I found out Key was a damn tiger.

Which explains why it took me six years to find him.I was looking into just about everything Key was into, gay shit straight shit criminal shit, fucking your gay teacher shit, but I wasn't looking into my own world, the paranormal world. Because far as I fucking knew, that's why he left in the first place.


I'm not getting into the Kara thing, babe. If you haven't heard it by now, you'll have to track that shit down or die trying. Seventeen year old Ren, every bit the criminal if not more so than I am now, fell in love with Key's twin sister Kara. She was naiieve as anything and completely perfect. Not, perfect for me, just in general. Yeah, I can honestly say that shit. Don't ask me how the fuck someone like Kiel had a perfect sister. I got the fuckin sister from hell. Which, I guess in a fucked up sorta way is perfect, for me.

Now Key and I, both had shit going on. His game concentrated on running the school he went to, fancy ass boarding school shit at SCD. Me I went to Elder and if you think I gave a fuck about playing who won the soccer game against Oak Hills or if they were goin to play Cleve St Igs in the state championships, you don't fuckin know me at all. My shit was much bigger and when I went to school, I was just Ren of the punk.

Any fuckin way. Key was with the lame ass school shit, but on the side, somehow, the freak found some demons, I'm guessin at one of his gay freak clubs or whatever the hell, and was blackmailing them. Now if you think that's the dumbest piece of shit thing to do, you'd be close. Hell I'm guessing Key had his head so far up his self induced drama ass that he had no idea that Macbeth freak was a demon. I only knew because I was doing the GKI shit on the side, and the second the Shakespearean quoting lunatic freak showed up in my city, Kennie paged me about eight thousand times with the intel. Hello babe, am I the goddamn knight, no, the fuck, I am not.

So Key, he's all up in this Macbeth's business. And guess what, it got his sister killed.





The snow....the snow was covered in blood spatter, everywhere, there was so much blood, that the snow didn't really crunch under your feet, the way it's supposed to....


and Kara



Then that dick Kiel left town. Just left, took off, didn't even go to her fuckin funeral. Hasn't even been to her grave.


I took off two days after Kara's funeral. When it became apparent that The Boyfriend was going to take the blame. No thanks, not going to catch me in prison. I had far too much in my life to hide, no way the fuck I was letting the cops dig around in that shit.

Made a deal with Jordan Reece, bam, record wiped clean, all memory of my existance in the eyes of the government - gone.



So like I said, I've been looking for the asshole. It's Key's fault Kara is dead, right? Jerk couldn't even be bothered to see his twin sister buried before he took off for the land of gay freaks and half animal creepy shit.

Finally found him a week ago. He's been travelling with an unclassified unknown Vampire, which is what's been making him so hard to track. Never in one city for more than two weeks. But they slipped up in Northern Kentucky. Oddly enough, close to home for Key. Some chick gave Key's real name as "acceptable to rent on my account" at a Blockbuster Video. Blade, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Seven, and Chicago. Yeah Key, I know which of those was yours.

Got there a day too late, but caught up with them in the Philly airport. Why the hell they flew out of Philly, which isn't even close to being on the WAY to Colorado, I'm of no clue, babe. Followed for a few more days, now here I am freezing my ass off at the goddamn North Pole.


Cowboy asked if I was going skiing while I'm here. Like hello dude, if I wanted to kill myself I'd crank up the Alanis and throw myself off a cliff. Ok bad analogy since he's done that.

I went in there, ready to do everything but kill him.

I don't kill, not any more. Not even Key, who I hate more than anything. Least of all Key. Like I want that freak in the Great Beyond, hangin with Karie? FUCK THAT. And don't even fucking start on the Key's gay so he's not getting into Heaven anyway. Bein gay's the least of his problems, or mine, and I guarantee if you took a look at your own life, you'd see a great deal of shit you oughta be worrying about besides my- how the FUCK did I get on THIS subject babe.

Had my long range shit, stashed outside, in the woods here and there, in case he took off at a run. Crossbows, both longbows. Nitro tipped arrows, silver plated arrows, and two special, solid silver arrows, now let me tell you that those are an extreme bitch to make fly.


Had traps set, outside his house. Now I'm not that stupid loser from that TV show my ghost Freddy watches, so I don't know Jack about digging holes for traps and setting nets, or whatever the hell. I DO know, oh sorry , moving on. Not supposed to mention the big black cat on the ground who's snarling at me, but he's supposed to be out keeping the world safe, so go put on your superman cape, Krypto the wonder cat, and get fuckin to it. (Cruz)


Inside, I had knives. Oh, babe, you know I had the knives. Spelled ones, silver ones, one i stole straight from Lord Reece, that supposedly is coated in that shit that makes the vamps sneeze, just in case. Throwing stars, a couple other things I got from Bors that have no name. The only two guns I'll ever hold again- Kane's nitro ones. Specially designed to fire bullets that bleed liquid nitro. Don't ask me how the fuck they managed that one, I'm the techie, not the - well, ok, technically I'm a magician, if Mystick blood counts as that.

No clue what I thought I was gonna do with the Nitro guns.


As it turns out, I didn't have a chance, anyway.


I walked in, he had some rap shit turned up so loud that the support beams were shaking. I could feel my heart about exploding in my chest. It was the warding spell that gave me away.


He came at me in one swift move- turn and fly through the air, a kick, and I went down. Headlong into the stereo, next thing you know I'm hearing double. Linkin Park in my head, and some godawful rap song stuck on repeat.

He sort of, pounced, to his feet. I was far less graceful, too busy being fucking pissed that he got the better of me five seconds into the room.

He stared at me, waiting for me to move. That's Key. Always jumping right in, then he gets there, and doesn't know what to do with it. Suppose that makes him a good lapdog for the vampire dude, whatever.

I turned, clutching my stomach with one hand while I slowly got up. Was contemplating his next move when I accidentally caught his eye



Kara's

He has the same goddamn eyes, and I couldn't turn away. It was like she was there, in living, breathing color. I shook my head, trying to clear my mind, but when I blinked, she was still standing there, where Key had been.

No, it WAS Key. Key, who wanted to fight, but wasn't going to fight back, if that made any sense at all. So, we went at it, for about an hour.

Kiel's physical strength. All that working out will do that, I guess, I don't have that kind of time. Apparently, whatever paranormal whatever he is, has only increased that. Dude can bench a car, pretty goddamn sure. Scary thought when even some of Jordan's people can't do that. What can I say babe, this is real life not some fuckin comic book existance.

He's also got the grace of whatever it is that makes him part tiger.


Then there's Ren Evers, and his Green Lantern Ring of power. My mother was a Mystick, but there were other things in her past. Gargoyles, Goblins.... dark magic. So instead of being able to call water or fire, or all that other weird shit, I can throw shadows into form. Which, by the way, I can then use to delve into.....well its pretty damn freaky. Souls and spirits shit.


Scares Key all to hell.

I let him throw me around, because yeah, I know where I can't compete. Did my routine and got in a few good shots. We've danced this dance before, Key and I, so I wasn't too worried.

I know how it ends.


One shot too many to my lungs and I'm out of air. I turn, throwing my hand up at him, and a shadow knocks him back.
So quick he has no time to react, no time to even breathe, I'm there. Shadow wrapped around his chest, where his heart is, should be.


Threads of shadow, wrapping themselves into Key's aura, into his soul, like a virus that's already taken over. My mind dove in, grabbing all of it- everything- twisting it to my advantage, making him scream, forcing him to remember every last thing he'd ever been afraid of.

I'm not sure how long he sat there, crying his sister's name, before I stopped.

"Well," he said, sneering at me, "what the hell are you waiting for, Ren? Get it over with, it's why you came we both know it. You want me dead, now's your chance." And on it went but babe I didn't really hear much of it.

I laughed, and Key actually closed his eyes. He thought I got the better of him, which suppose I did, come to think. Those eyes- Kara's eyes-



Shook my head to clear it. That was ten hours ago, and we're still in the basement, talking. You could say we came to a brilliant vein of reasoning. That's a whole other story though, just thought I'd explain why Key and I are getting along, for now.



If anyone has reports of seeing a lunatic who smokes, drinks, and quotes endless amounts of Shakespeare, call me . Don't try to kill the demon yourself.

My head is swimming, from searching for this thing. Key goes out and beats people up over the information. I charm it out of them, con it out of them, or hack my way into the knowledge.


Now go pick someone elses goddamn brain. I'm stuck in a house with a gay tiger and his gay vampire boyfriend who is so busy mooning over some OTHER dude, Key is starting to get testy.

Do I look like a girl, man. I do not serve up psychoanalysis for the challenged. Don't want to hear that, so I'm out.




Everyone go turn on the Zeppelin and leave me alone. We all know who won this round, Kiel Delvariann. Oh yeah and hey, George Clooney you antichrist mother. Quit fuckin with my system! The power goddamn well better not go out unless *I* say so, got it freak ?


*stalks off grumbling about the ghosts in his own castle who won't leave him alone*